Child Abuse
the last true taboo

[Child: a child is any person not yet able/willing to care for him or her self.]

Child abuse - what is child abuse?

Is it rape, beating, torture, neglect, inspection? Is it ritual or psychological, spiritual or emotional? Is it just being ignored?

It's hard to say because most people don't want to say, anything.
Except the experts. The experts will talk about definitions all day long: inventing new definitions for tomorrow's experts to talk about - and talk about, and talk about...
And this will continue for as long as there is child abuse: for as long as grown ups make children without first facing their own past: their pain, their fear and the results of that.

I'm not an expert, and so my definition of child abuse is a bit crude, a bit naughty, too short and rather rude (sorry), but:

If you think you were abused then you were abused.

And if you know someone who vigorously, fanatically - or even angrily - asserts that no way was there any child abuse in their neighborhood, and that they had a wonderful, perfect and idyllic childhood, then.. well, maybe...

..After all, not everyone is a victim or survivor of child abuse - just many, many more than will ever tell.

How well did we 'survive'?
Victims of child abuse now have to be called 'survivors' of child abuse - and this is so that lovely society can feel good about itself and not feel guilty about anything. (heavens forbid)

You see, if you're a 'survivor' of child abuse, then that means you're okay today, and can therefore get on with life.. and not bother anyone with that nasty subject that we don't want to talk about (the one that's worse than 'cancer.')

But a 'victim' of child abuse is like some kind of road-kill. And where there are victims there is pressure to 'do something' - especially where the victims are still lying around: still moaning and bleeding and doing other victimy type things...

Try talking about child abuse to a normal person (not a definition maker).
"Child abuse."
Just say the words and watch the results. No fart ever emptied a room as fast. (I know - I've tried both.)

It's easier to engage in dinner debate about cancer, ebola or global-killer asteroids than to talk about... Ssssshhhh! Don't even say it...

Child abuse?

Child abuse: I was abused: I'm worse than cancer.

You can't even say child s*x abuse. To be polite, and PC, you have to call it CSA, so that you could be talking about anything - anything but child abuse...

And while we're busy being polite and correct, everyday, in every city, children are fighting for their lives - their very existence as dumb kids.
And they don't even know it.

In this battle they are out-gunned, out-manoeuvered, out-intel'd, and utterly, utterly alone - because the adults are in control - of everything. And if adults are not abusing directly then they're supporting it, logistically - simply because they're too busy, with sports, money and denial.

"But mommy didn't know"
Yeah, sure 'mom,' those game shows are so loud, aren't they..

"Why did you let him??"
Because I didn't wanna f**k the rest of the family too..

(sound familiar?)


On and on - and kids are always on the defensive because they don't know what the hell they're doing. Have you ever noticed how lame kids are? They really are stupid: incredibly, mind bogglingly dumb. They'll believe just about anything you tell them. I mean, look at Santa Clause...
No wonder adults sometimes have to slap their kids, or shout at them, or ridicule them, or maybe beat them a bit... It's because children are dumb and guilty - guilty of not learning fast enough...

I was abused, in every definition herein implied - and I 'survived'. I'm fine. I know this because my shrink told me so. After several thousand bucks she said to me: "X, you're going to be fine" (Though I'm suspicious that she wouldn't put that writing, and have therefore kept my credit card bills - just in case anyone accuses me of being a total whacko.)

Actually, I was pissed (at myself) when I found out that my shrink was merely following a book by some guy called Freud - a surprisingly raunchy read that can be had at B&N for just $35.95... Yes, it does pay to shop around for the truth - especially these days.

And there's not one that goes by when I don't think of the child that was I : alone, back there in the past, in the guilt and hiding: in the ashamed pregnancy before my life began - the time I feel I must refer to as: "Yeah, I guess I had kind of an odd childhood..."


When will child abuse end?

It's an interesting question. Adults have had about, I dunno, a couple or three millennia to fix this - this child abuse thing. And - surprise, surprise - it's still going on...
The church has had a go, politicians have had a go, movie stars and rock stars have a stab. Shit - even the Nazis had a go, getting very brown shirty with peadophiles, or vampires, or whatever it was they called them back then... But they all blew it. Because they were all too old.

'Society' - The Corporation - is a scam, and many adults know it. But we're all too compromised to fix it - because we've got shares in it, or because we owe the house and car to it, or because we're otherwise bound by contract and waiver: hopelessly compromised by being too damn old. Therefore, the only real, if tenuous hope for children facing abuse today - right now - is knowledge - their own knowledge, fully owned by them.
And that's why I love the net - because 'bad kids' don't just look up rappers and porno... Sometimes, if they're really, really bad (and wicked, and shameful..) they may dare to look up the last true taboo.

And then, just maybe, if they're really, really dirty and evil (etc, etc) they may just say:
NO!
- or at least understand, without shame, that it was never, ever their fault.


You came here, which means that you've already chosen to start a journey. I won't say that it's a good thing, or that you're on the way to being free - because then you might stop, or even go back. However, I will say that the web is full of true stories, and perspectives, and analyses, and other things that can help you on the way. Some of it's strong stuff though - the truth really can be a bitch: an angry mutt that doesn't always bite the one that kicked...

Therefore, keep safe. And good luck with your search.

Regards,

another stray mutt


One last thing: Child abuse - shouldn't we be calling that child-use ?

Links:

Anna Jennings' story | Abuse and related issues | "at the grave of the unknown child" | General info